anchises: (Default)
anchises ([personal profile] anchises) wrote2008-08-24 01:27 pm

VZPBZ VATUB ZRABJ (SG-1, Broken Wings-verse)

VZPBZ VATUB ZRABJ, by Anchises. Another tag for [personal profile] synecdochic's A Howling In The Factory Yard, with unsurprising spoilers, profanity, and really simple cipher decoding. Because Anchises is, at heart, a giant fucking geek.



They start communicating via the United States Fucking Postal Service, neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of fucking night, not that it ever fucking snows in Oregon, nor so much with the heat either. It's got the gloom down to a fucking T, though. Gloom of fucking day.



JMPWF ZPVBO EJNJT TZPVB OEJTX
FBSUP HPEJX JMMCF UIFSF BTTPP
OBTJQ VUNZT FMGCB DLUPH FUIFS


the first one reads, on a piece of eight-and-a-half-by-eleven stuffed into a re-used brown envelope that's Scotch-taped down, and Cam laughs his head off because he can decode it without even trying. With one hand feeding Ash, he scribbles his response on the back of a piece of paper towel, encoding it as he goes. There's a bit of math involved in making sure it's groups of five letters, and he gets a little verbose once he's into it, but he laughs as he stuffs it back in the envelope, tapes it up, sticks a blank label on the front, scribbles the address that he's googled for the monastery, and mails it back.



MPWFZ PVUPP JLOPX ZPVXJ MMBOE
JXJMM CFSJH IUIFS FXBJU JOHGP
SZPVT PXJMM UIFMJ UUMFH VZBOE
EPOUG PSBTF DPOEU IJOLU IBUJX
POUCF QJDLJ OHZPV VQGSP NUIFB
JSQPS UCFDB VTFZP VTUSP OHXJM
MFOET USPOH CFTMF FQJOH POUIF
DPVDI JGZPV KVTUU VSOVQ BUUIF
IPVTF


it reads, and JD reads it in Keller-roshi's office, over an omnipresent cup of tea. He's vaguely apologetic, although not really, and Keller-roshi knows both of those things, and knows that this is important to JD's healing. JD looks up after a minute; Keller-roshi sees his eyes with a light in them that hasn't been there since he left the monastery last time; knows that this is what will truly get JD back into a place of peace.



UWRGT UJWVV NGVQQ IQQFH QTWUP
QYOKV EJGNN DGUKF GUVJG HNKIJ
VUCNY CAUIG VKPCV JCNHC HVGTC
UUYJK EJKUU VWRKF DGECW UGQHV
JGNKV VNGIW ACPFK VUPGX GTQPV
KOGOC MGUOQ TGUGP UGHQT OGVQF
TKXGH TQOFH YJQOG DGECW UGAQW
CTGPQ VTGRG CVPQV OKVEJ GNNFT
KXKPI VJCVF KUVCP EGCVP KIJVQ
PVJCV FCOPG FKPVG TUVCV GKNQX
GAQWK OFQKP IDGVV GTKNN UGGAQ
WUQQP


Cam laughs at the cipher, because really, JD, Da-God-damned-Vinci-code, hell no, and reaches for his laptop. His Polish is dreadful, just kurwa mac dreadful, barely past Dzien dobry and Jak sie masz and he can't even really do the alphabet, but that's okay, because he's just going to Babelfish it anyway. What the hell did he do before the Internet? He's sure life was less funny then.

He churns it through the translator, although he's pretty sure that some of the letters don't correspond well to the cipher he's using, and he's not familiar enough with Polish to know where the L-squiggle and the A-squiggle come when you're rotating characters, and he keeps the stupid damn cipher chain going, because it's easy and it makes him laugh.

The envelope is starting to look the worse for wear, though, so he replaces it with the one the Austin Energy bill came in, tapes it up, sticks blank labels over the bits he needs to, and up goes the flag on the mailbox. He keeps the brown one safe in his desk drawer, next to one of JD's t-shirts.



EJSUC HNOLQ DWRMH VWHPX VCNDG
CDMDQ LHNUH WBQLF DOHMD URELC
WBPZK DOHMH VWFHO MHMCD ZVCHO
NDFHQ HWDNS RPDJD MDPQL HERJE
HGHZL GCLHF ZDVPL QXWDS UCHNO
LQDPG REUCH PRCHQ DZHWM HCHOL
MDPXV LSRVX ZDFVL HSRUW RZDCL
HPLDZ BELHU DFZDV NRFKD MDZDV


JD laughs, once, his shaved head rolling back and looking at the ceiling of Keller-roshi's office. Keller-roshi smiles faintly, knowing that JD can't see him, and knowing that this is one of the really good roadhouses along the road to recovery. Keller-roshi has seen it before, and will see it again.

JD chuckles at the last group of five letters, and wishes that it had ended with a U. Circles it, puts a big ! next to it and a :S next to that. Back it goes.



DTZWU TQNXM NXFGX TQZYJ QDFYW
THNTZ XMFAJ DTZHT SXNIJ WJIFH
FWJJW NSXYF YJFSI NKNYB NQQRF
PJDTZ KJJQG JYYJW NBNQQ HFQQD
TZFSI QJYDT ZUNHP RJZUK WTRYM
JFNWU TWYIT JXYMN XRFPJ RJYMJ
UZXXD BMNUU JITSJ


Cam unfolds the piece of rice paper and smiles. He wonders, idly, if JD will be back for Labor Day, and whether a weekend down at the beach at Galveston or somewhere would be nice. He turns his attention back to Ash, who is making little burping noises on his shoulder, and bounces him on the table.

"JD's coming home, JD's coming home." He makes a little song out of it until he catches himself self-consciously, then grins. Ash grins gummily back at him.

Theo's at the door, lets herself in, and Cam grabs for the delivery menu he's been using as his codesheet, folding it up and sticking it wetly in the pocket of his sweats. "I made way too much minted halloumi," she calls as she makes her way over to him, and deposits a tupperware container on the table. Ash gurgles happily to see her.



WPLWV WBMDM VABIZ BEQBP UMRLV
QMTAW VLIUU QBXTM IAMMF KCAMB
PMAXQ BCXWV BPMKW LMAPM MBQLQ
LVBKI BKPPQ UQVBQ UMQRC ABKIV
VWBEI QBNWZ GWCBW JMPWU MPMZM
EQBPU MEQBP CAQTW DMGWC


Keller-roshi knows that it's not going to be long now. JD only smiles when he gets the notes these days.

This time, though, Keller-roshi's stomach rumbles at the sight of a Chinese restaurant menu, because he remembers what potstickers used to taste like, and he suddenly has a hankering for some, and this afternoon is going to involve some time in the kitchen with fake pork and an awful lot of chives.

JD is folding his response, written alone on a piece of the monastery's letterhead. He smiles and turns to Keller-roshi. "Can I borrow your phone? I think it's time to book a flight."



VZPBZ VATUB ZRABJ

it reads, simply, starkly. It's a contrast to the messae "Vzpbz vatub zrabj!" Cam says excitedly to Ash, then chuckles at the sound of the nonsense. "Vzpbz vatub zrabj!" Cam pauses and rotates it in his head. "Wqfpbz vatub zrabj, Ash, Wqfpbz vatub zrabj!"

When they get in from the airport two days later, a handmade wooden frame is sitting on the countertop, with a cross-stitch sampler in it. The pieces of knotted, befouled and discarded cross-stitch silks, soaked in Cameron's blood from tiny needle-pricks (his craft art is so knitting) are nowhere to be seen.

1-1-2-3-5-8-13 -- UBZR FJRRG UBZR -- VZPBZ VATUB ZRABJ -- VYBIR LBHQB AGRIR -- ESHPX VATYR NIRZR -- UBZR FJJRG UBZR -- 1-1-2-3-5-8-13


JD sees it, blinks, and bursts into laughter. Cam's arms wrap around him from behind.

It is good to have him back.
khriskin: (Book Pony)

[personal profile] khriskin 2008-08-24 05:35 pm (UTC)(link)
(Wandering in by way of [livejournal.com profile] synecdochic) *blinks* ... *gets out pad of paper and a pencil and starts decoding* ... Aww, 'VZPBZ VATUB ZRABJ' indeed. ^_^

[identity profile] anchiseswrites.livejournal.com 2008-08-24 07:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Anchises is pleased you're here, and a pad and pencil should be all you need for it. Oh, and also a rudimentary command of Polish (or some Babelfish-fu) for one of them.
khriskin: (Book Pony)

[personal profile] khriskin 2008-08-24 07:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I must say, getting to play impromptu code-breaker has seriously brightened my day! :) Nothing is quite as much fun for me as doing puzzles, so it's a welcome respite from my accounting homework. *grin*

(And Babelfish sadly does not offer Polish, but Google has found me a few options to try...)

[identity profile] anchiseswrites.livejournal.com 2008-08-24 08:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Anchises may or may not have used Poltran. *whistle*
starwatcher: Western windmill, clouds in background, trees around base. (Default)

[personal profile] starwatcher 2008-08-24 05:43 pm (UTC)(link)
.
Would you tell me how to cypher-decode this? (Is there a decoding site?) It may be in Howling, but... I have to read these 'good ending' parts first, before I can tackle that angst. (*shrug* It works for me.)
.
khriskin: (Book Pony)

[personal profile] khriskin 2008-08-24 06:12 pm (UTC)(link)
I found it at Wikipedia under Substitution Cipher ^_^
starwatcher: Western windmill, clouds in background, trees around base. (Default)

[personal profile] starwatcher 2008-08-24 06:29 pm (UTC)(link)
.
Thank you. It's part of the test to figure out which substitution, right? *g*
.

[identity profile] anchiseswrites.livejournal.com 2008-08-24 07:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Substitutions, indeed. It is technically a monoalphabetic substitution cipher, principally because Anchises prefers that people be able to read the messages rather than do their recreational mathematics with them for months.

Bear in mind that the cipher changes: two of the ciphers have the same substitution numbers; the others are all different. There are two clues within this tag, one staring the reader in the face, one less so, and numerous clues within Howling itself as to how to decode.
jenrose: (Default)

[personal profile] jenrose 2008-08-27 10:43 pm (UTC)(link)
The polish one stumped me. :(

Then again, I'm *so* not into deciphering in general... ah well.

[identity profile] j00j.livejournal.com 2008-08-24 11:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Heh, this was fun! Thank you!

I must confess I couldn't get the Polish-- mine is about as good as Mitchell's, and I can't spell anything, whcih makes separating the decoded message out into words for translation difficult.

[identity profile] anchiseswrites.livejournal.com 2008-08-24 11:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Anchises is pleased you enjoyed it. If you have found the rotation pattern, the Polish fits right into that pattern. Anchises confesses to not having tried to reverse it through Poltran without the Polish letters, and may end up posting the translation sometime.
synecdochic: torso of a man wearing jeans, hands bound with belt (Default)

[personal profile] synecdochic 2008-08-25 02:52 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, boys!
ivorygates: (Default)

[personal profile] ivorygates 2008-08-25 03:52 am (UTC)(link)
*loves*
vass: A sepia-toned line-drawing of a man in naval uniform dancing a hornpipe, his crotch prominent (Default)

[personal profile] vass 2008-08-25 10:25 am (UTC)(link)
I confess: I googled [cypher breaker] and found this javascript page for solving exactly this kind of cypher. I have no patience. Which is a shame, because I correctly guessed that one of the patterns in the first one was 'IMISS'.

But this was beautiful and very in character.

[identity profile] anchiseswrites.livejournal.com 2008-08-25 10:29 am (UTC)(link)
Anchises is grateful that you enjoyed it; don't worry about the cheating, Anchises cheated on the damn Polish anyway.
jeshyr: Blessed are the broken. Harry Potter. (Default)

[personal profile] jeshyr 2008-08-25 02:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh thank you! I would never have been able to read the messages without that help. Brain just doesn't have the power for this stuff anymore. I got them all except the Polish - close enough for government work ;)

Anchises, you are brilliant and wonderful and this is SO right and sweet and made me smile a lot. I hope they end up keeping the kid, too. He suits them and they suit him and .... oh, family!

Thank you :)

[identity profile] kaiyah19.livejournal.com 2008-09-03 05:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I have no patience either and was just thinking I could use a bit of help.
ext_3496: (Default)

[identity profile] fanmouse.livejournal.com 2008-08-28 05:58 pm (UTC)(link)
That was great fun! Amazingly enough, they are a lot easier to work after a good night's sleep.

UIBOY GPSTI BSJOH

[identity profile] anchiseswrites.livejournal.com 2008-08-28 08:06 pm (UTC)(link)
AWTVQ VGUYG NEQOG. Anchises certainly enjoyed the mental exercise.

[identity profile] kaiyah19.livejournal.com 2008-09-03 05:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Anchises, I love the story...and the codes! Even though I am definitely not a good code-breaker, it was very in-character for them. :)
alexseanchai: Blue and purple lightning (Default)

[personal profile] alexseanchai 2008-10-21 11:09 pm (UTC)(link)
*throws up hands in disgust* I cannot decipher any of this for the life of me. What did they say?

[identity profile] anchiseswrites.livejournal.com 2008-10-21 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Substitution cipher. Code rotation is in the story.

(Basically, because it's been some time now for people to enjoy breaking it: take the first line of code:

JMPWF ZPVBO EJNJT TZPVB OEJTX

Now, count back one letter from each of those:

ILOVE YOUAN DIMIS SYOUA NDISW

and so on. Obviously, you'll need to form them back into words rather than five-letter blocks.

"Code rotation" means that you count back in different directions. Oh, and the Polish one? Is in Polish. Poltran-translated Polish, but Polish nonetheless.
alexseanchai: Blue and purple lightning (Default)

[personal profile] alexseanchai 2009-05-20 03:49 am (UTC)(link)
Aaaand some months later when I've got bored enough to put actual effort into solving it: got sensible English out of most of it, but shifting the Polish three letters in either direction only gets me gibberish, and even if I could figure out which way actually makes sensible Polish words (betting it's the way that the last five letters are 'JAWAS', but don't know), I don't have the faintest idea where the word breaks are. And even if I did know what the Polish words were, it's Babelfish. (Or Poltran, but same principle.) The preceding sentences, Poltraned English to Polish to English, come out as follows:

understands some later (late) months * * ( ) Aaaand po┼║niej when I has receive ( received; sufficient has gotten ) * * sufficient amount ( bored; attempt (test) litters sufficiently ) test (try) (; don't beguile it try ) solve received sensible english out of most of it, but letter removing ( changing ) polish three letter (list) ( ) in (to) either (or) each direction ( ) management ( ) only receive ( obtain (get); it understands me litters ) &, and even if could calculate which way sensible polish produce actually ( polish < poland >; it formulates brilliance be set-up center (means) ) word ( ) ( setting up (bet; found) ( ) expensive (dear) < way > ( ) that (in order to) last five letters (lists) are ( letter ) ' * ' * JAWAS, but it does not learn ), it don't beguile faintest (faintest) idea where breaks of words are. And even if I make learn that polish ( polish < poland >; was brilliance ) word, there is < > * * Babelfish. ( Either (or) * * Poltran, but same base. )

What was it before Cam put it through Poltran?